Turbulence

The seatbelt sign illuminated as one of the cabin lights went into strobe mode, both due to the rattling effect of turbulence. It seemed all the more unnerving as the interior of the aircraft threatened to detach from the hull. I turned to the "In-Flight Entertainment" for solace.

"We will have an episode of The Nanny in English, followed by (unpronounceable Indian show) in Hindi." Such are the vagaries of being the only white face on flight AI 433 from Singapore to India via Bangalore. There were subtitles in English for the uninitiated, but there seems to be a cultural divide between Western and Eastern senses of humour, and never the twain shall meet.

There are only two "Conveniences" to service the passengers in "Cattle Class", and it is a good idea not to wait until your kidneys are swimming with three Heinekens and your bladder has stretched to bursting point. Deciding to negotiate the narrow corridor blocked by the curry-filled trolley was met with disdain from not only the stewardess but also the 140-odd passengers thinking, "He really should have gone earlier". Unable to pass to pass, I returned sheepishly to my uncomfortable seat.

I tried again once the melange of people and trolleys had dissipated. Having negotiated a narrow corridor, to an even narrower cubicle, I arrived to find something that should have been replaced decades ago. It probably hasn't seen anything as exotic as a brush for some time. Having completed the necessary ablutions, I again made my way back to the instrument of torture cleverly disguised as an airline seat.